Recently, I got the exciting opportunity to share my story with a local online magazine called Voyage Utah, about how exactly I got into this business.
It was flattering to say the least :)
Founded and based out of Los Angeles, CA, the online platform has state specific teams who shine spotlights on local artists, entrepreneurs, influencers, professionals, writers, creators, etc.
While writing my experiences, the thought popped in my head: "I almost wasn't me."
It's safe to say the rest is in the article :) Hope you enjoy it!
Click the link below or read here on my blog.
VU: Tell us your story.
Jacqueline:
Hello!
My name is Jacqueline Schumann and I am a freelancer in the fashion industry :)
I was born in American Fork, Utah, and raised partly in Utah County, partly in a small town in central California called Santa Maria.
There wasn’t really a defining moment in my early childhood that forged a clear path to the world of fashion or apparel. School was where I thrived but it didn’t necessarily guide me to the intersection of what I loved doing most with what the world needs- a sentiment I live by. Even though I believe small moments here and there alter the direction of a person’s life, I will say two specific events in my teenage years changed the trajectory of my life.
The first notable event was a trip to Europe with the student ambassadorship program People to People. This 3 week, United Kingdom adventure was something I was nominated for by an anonymous teacher, based on my high-grade point average. With the assumption I wouldn’t be able to go because of the cost, the trip ended up being funded by my grandmother. Something I will always be deeply grateful for, as that trip truly changed my life. It gave me exposure to other cultures and geography and helped me find my voice outside of my family. My time there was so inspiring, it gave me the courage to tell my parents how unhappy I was at my current high school.
The second noteworthy event was the moment my Dad heard an ad on the radio for a film-based high school called East Hollywood High, in West Valley, Utah. My concerns didn’t fall on deaf ears, as my dad listened and took a chance on us paying the unorthodox charter school a visit. The moment I stepped in the doors, I never looked back. Thank you Mom and Dad for letting me go there :)
Even though I’m not in film now, I don’t regret switching schools with only one year left; East Hollywood High catapulted my creativity and made it possible for me to flourish in my own skin. Finally feeling the freedom to explore possible paths for my future instead of focusing on grades, I became curious about the world of film along with making dear friends. It was clear I favored classes like set design, costume design, and music. There were also classes from my first high school I enjoyed- sewing, and home-ec.
The few years following high school graduation were a series of natural events for a 20-something. I got married (I met my husband at East Hollywood), had an internship, bounced around various retail jobs, and found myself aimless in the face of a career.
A few months later I found myself googling “artistic careers” and FIDM came up. The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, in California. Above being intrigued the more and more I read, negative feelings also came up. Thoughts about exclusivity, talent, not good being enough, and it being only for the best of the best. I was never that kid in class doodling fashion sketches. I never had the natural gift of drawing and that was why I’d never considered design school. That seemed only for people who could whip up an Instagram-worthy runway sketch in five minutes. Still, the idea of attending the school stuck with me. I knew I was creative on many levels and it also seemed kind of glamorous. (Insert facepalm of me, looking back on how naive I was ;)
Within a year, attending the prestigious school became a reality as my husband received a job offer in California and we again, so naively, signed up for student loans, oh and the big thing of you know, being accepted!
Despite my negative stance on student loans and how I view the industry now, my time at FIDM was another place where I flourished. I was meant to be there. It was such a fun time in my life; experiencing living in a new state, making life-long friends, learning new things, and being immersed in a captivating corner of the world- I was having a BLAST.
The fashion world didn’t say fashion to me; it said ENDLESS CREATIVITY. The colors, fabrics, sketches, designers, textiles, styles, attitudes, and stories they told resonated with me deeply. I took too long on assignments, as the rabbit holes of creative possibilities in my mind went on and on. Each and every possible way a garment could be cut and how the slightest change altered not only the appearance but the essence of someone’s energy.
I focused most of my projects on either bridal or denim. (Sounds funny cause they are total opposites). Bridal was fitting because aside from falling in love with luxurious fabrics, I had redesigned my prom dress into my wedding dress, and already had the experience of trying on bridal gowns; giving me the point of view of a bride's critiques and favorites- design-wise. Denim was also fitting because it was relatable. I grew up on denim. I loved it. It was, and is, a classic. It’s reachable, always on trend, has a deep history, and the fabric itself lasts a very long time.
Focusing on school and living far from home soon became extremely difficult, as life took a very unexpected turn; my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. To say I was distraught is an understatement. My Dad was the foundation, rock, and pillar of our family. He was the biggest influence on my pursuing any dream I had and was an example of pursuing creativity. Despite now, having years of distance from the moment of finding out, it is still difficult for me to write about.
During this time my husband and I also started planning on building our family :) I was 7 months pregnant walking on stage at graduation with my Associate's Degree in Merchandise Product Development. I’d spent the previous few months finishing my portfolio for classes and presenting it at interviews- something my Dad insisted on, (instead of going home prematurely). It seemed like an impossible venture to go about finishing school while pregnant while knowing my dad’s life was in jeopardy.
The year following my graduation from FIDM was truly one of the most difficult. I was turned down countless times for potential positions despite great feedback on my portfolio. I ignored any bad news about my dad’s health and disregarded the reality of living in an expensive area as new parents with no family help nearby. Life was going to go how I planned no matter what. But instead of that reality, another one happened. My dad passed away, we moved back to Utah, I didn’t get an industry job and we moved into families basements. Life crumbled and imploded in a way I’d never experienced. Grief, anger, pain, and anguish were all I felt for a while. Life was a blur of crying, attempting to move back to California, working mall jobs, a very rough season in my marriage, unmanageable grief, and a disconnect from my former self. My blindness to our reality financially and relationally lead me to a defining moment. I picked up the phone and called a therapy office. For the next year in a half, I spent time working through life’s events in grief counseling. I started accepting my Dad’s death and all the other things that happened. It will never be ok that my Dad is gone, but I’ve accepted it and know he would want m to be happy. One of the last things he said to me was: “Don’t let this define you.”
Going to grief counseling also helped me realize it was time to go back to work and a unique opportunity presented itself: an internship with a local custom suit company. I wasn’t sure what exactly I could do for them but I still showed up to meet with them and see if there was a way we could work together. It was a half win, half…not, as it was an unpaid internship with potential. Despite my eagerness to pair my love of bridal-wear with suits, after about a year, my husband made me realize that a paid position was nowhere in sight. I left on great terms with new lifelong friends and more self-respect; learning the hard lesson of my time and skills being of value.
Despite going back to a world outside of home and family life, I was still blind to our collapsing finances. The embarrassment of coming back to my home state empty-handed made me refuse to get a non-industry job. (In hindsight, I cringe and shake my head, but remember how lost I was). I felt that if I worked outside the fashion industry, I’d adopt the narrative in other people’s heads of: “Cute, she tried her hand in the design world and clearly failed.” But in the face of knowing what was at stake, I finally started applying for anything I could get. I found myself at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City.
I’ve never been so pleasantly surprised about a job. I anticipated hating it, as it was clearly not the plan and I was to be on the phones all day but the job was……actually a gift. The fun and productive team morale, beautiful environment, and wonderful managers gave me something I didn’t know I needed at the time. I felt seen and heard again outside of family life. Soon after starting on the phones, I was promoted to a Hospitality Ambassador- truly one of the strangest and most fun jobs I’ve ever had. Some days were spent scrubbing the baseboards of a Presidential Suite with rags and prepping for high-profile guests and others were spent checking rooms to ensure the flowers, cakes, or balloons were staged as requested. I’ve never had so much fun at something I never wanted to do, which is why I felt conflicted when almost two years later I felt the itch to try again in the fashion industry. Although I was having fun, I’d come to realize the 24/7, 365 schedule of the hospitality industry wouldn’t last for me and my family. There were times when I felt the slippery slope of going down a fork in the road I’d later not recognize. I could climb the hospitality ladder or pivot and attempt to get my foot in the door again in my beloved field of study.
I nervously decided to try again. My husband and I would not have considered this if I hadn’t found the one and only Sew Heidi. The online fashion freelance guru preaches flexibility and great paying projects through freelancing all while not having to live in a fashion hub or be stuck in the 9 to 5. The fashion hubs were a MAJOR caveat in my career. We never could afford LA or New York, didn’t have the recourses to raise our child without extended family, nor did we necessarily want to live in a city. I investigated this new person every minute I had. FIDM never talked about “freelancing.” The industry is structured around full-time, on-site employees or interns. I was skeptical but hopeful and through further research, the coming months proved to me that it was possible.
Realizing I could have this part of my life fulfilled without having to uproot my family was a God send. But actually “starting” was extremely intimidating. Self-doubt and fear crippled me, as some of my skills had atrophied over the years. Being too scared, I diverted back to the familiar steps of applying for employee-type jobs. I considered any local design-related jobs and found myself as an Assistant Photo Stylist at BackCountry. Not a design job, but it was good enough for me. I figured I’d start there and work my way up. Then 1 month later, I was laid off from COVID.
At this point, so many things hadn’t worked out and I’d been told no so many times, that it really didn’t sting too bad. I took it as a sign and opportunity for me to take the leap of freelancing. I could feel myself learning to be more resilient to what life threw at me.
But surprisingly, the more and more I pursued the road of freelancing, the more my fear grew and my passion started to fade. How was this possible? I’d always been a particularly passionate person. Was this what other people were referring to “I wanted to be an xyz when I grew up but then I got this job and it’s been great so I just stuck with it.” Or maybe is was because we had decided to start trying for a second baby? Our daughter was 5 years old and we didn’t want any bigger of an age gap so we decided to start trying for our second baby. And before we knew it I was pregnant. Being at home full time with our daughter while pregnant, I ultimately felt drained from my old self’s passion and drive. So much of me was needed as a mother and the second pregnancy proved to be much more difficult.
My drive slipping away was one of the scariest feelings. I never wanted to solely be at home, and settling with something I truly didn’t want to do just wasn’t me. But I was still questioning myself and many other things. I slipped back into grief intermittently and started to feel like any fashion job I’d get wouldn’t…. matter. Waves of grief drove me to a depressing conclusion: The world doesn’t need another fashion brand. I didn’t think there were any original ideas left and didn’t think I was clever enough to come up with something different enough to be a real player in any market. After a couple of months of feeling aimless, I came back to what my Dad said on many occasions: Find what you love, find one thing the world needs, put it together, and do that.
So I asked myself what the world needed that had something to do with fashion? Asking this question lead me to recall a documentary I’d seen years back and it all clicked. The True Cost. This documentary tells the story of the other side of fashion…. The not-so-pretty side. When I’d originally watched it, I remembered feeling a mixture of negative emotions. Sick to my stomach, guilty for going into the field so naively and disheartened that FIDM hadn’t offered any sustainability or transparency classes. My mind also reverted back to a vivid memory from junior high age. I was shopping at Forever21, thinking, “Where are they going to put all the stuff that doesn’t sell?…..” And, “Do they really need THIS much stuff in the store??” I was the queen of fast fashion and am so embarrassed to admit it, but I actually used to think, “This store is the best! It’s so nice of them to price everything so cheap so people like me can afford cute clothes!” (Cringe-worthy moment….).
As insightful and informative as the film was, I just couldn’t handle seeing the devastation. And it wasn’t just the environment and overconsumption. It was people’s health and quality of life suffering from pollution in their neighborhoods because of burning clothes that release toxic chemicals. It was people working from sun up to sun down but not bringing home enough money to live off of. I turned a blind eye because I didn’t feel like I had the right to be a part of solving such a massive problem. It felt like it should be saved for people much smarter than me.
But after feeling aimless and uninspired, I decided I could either sit in a pity party or decide on something. So I decided I’d place myself there. Helping make fashion and the apparel industry as a whole better for the environment and less harmful to people seemed like a noble cause, a venture worth pursuing.
I started becoming a student of YouTube, Google, and many books. I became a voracious reader of all things fashion and its impact. The more and more I found, the more I started sharing on my business Instagram. Not being an expert at something had stopped me from pursuing many things and I was tired of that mindset. I’m a novice in this arena but I’m gaining knowledge more and more every day.
I believe that educating is where these issues can begin to be deconstructed; educating people in easy-to-digest ways. If you don’t work in this industry and aren’t obsessed with clothes- chances are you probably have no idea how big these global problems really are. Problems like overconsumption, excessive waste & pollution, lack of end-of-life disposal options, overproduction, forced labor, lack of transparency, wage gaps, poor working conditions, and soil degradation. There are a lot of professionals and upcoming brands working to combat these issues. “Sustainable fashion” isn’t brand new by any means, but I don't see it as a saturated market. There are endless opportunities.
Today, I work with small to mid-size sustainable denim brands through:
-CAD (computer-aided design) Sketches
-Trend Direction & Market Research
-Full Collection Designs & Line Sheets
-Initial Vision & Aesthetic/Branding Direction
-Brand Consultancy
In the near future, I’ll be adding Brand Transparency and Textile Consultancy to my services :)
Niching down to one category was a great move. There’s not enough time in the world to keep up with trends and innovative materials in every single corner of the industry. I chose denim because of all the reasons I mentioned prior but mostly because denim reminds me of my Dad. His favorite thing to wear was his denim jacket :)
VU: Has it been a smooth road? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Jacqueline:
It’s pretty obvious my experiences haven’t been without struggles. However, there were many other diversions and difficulties like:
Working random temp jobs to help pay for our move to CA.
Living away from family.
Being turned down after countless interviews. This one especially messed with me, because I started to doubt I had any skill or talent at all.
Cleaning people’s houses to help make ends meet.
Working from home with kids- it’s a daily challenge to straddle the roles of motherhood and professional life simultaneously. Someone even once told me, “The best thing you can do for that little girl is be at home with her.” (As opposed to working outside the home). You can imagine that didn’t sit too well with me, as I believe one of the best things you can do for your children is to be a happy, healthy person. If working outside the home makes you happy and childcare is a possibility, then do that. If being at home makes you happy and you can afford to stay home- do that.
The very first project I got, I was never paid for. And it was a measly $25 dollars. But I let it roll off my back and the next project I landed was $2,000 dollars! Actual money!
VU: What has been the most important lesson you've learned along your journey?
Jacqueline:
It’s impossible to boil down the past 10 years of life into one lesson. If I’d only learned one lesson, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So here are a few:
Pain can be turned into beauty.
“Do what you have to now, so later you can do what you want to.”
-Dave Ramsey & Denzel Washington
“You don’t need an invitation to your own life.”
Lauren Graham as Sarah Braverman in Parenthood
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